


I Really Didn't Want To Have To Get Into All of This

by bluemandycat



Category: Archvillain Series - Barry Lyga
Genre: Catch All The References!, Family Bonding, Light-Hearted, M/M, Only Kinda Gay, Yesterday Again didn't happen AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-30
Updated: 2016-04-30
Packaged: 2018-06-05 10:02:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6700438
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluemandycat/pseuds/bluemandycat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kyle accidentally reveals a secret to his extended family during breakfast.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Really Didn't Want To Have To Get Into All of This

**Author's Note:**

> Hey I haven't updated any fanfics but Ch 3 of Fashionably Hate is half-done and so is Ch 2 of His Escapes are always spectacular, so be on the lookout! As usual I have like 6 half-finished one-shots, so we'll see where that goes! Enjoy!

            It was 10 AM on a Saturday morning in the middle of July, and Kyle was trying to avoid talking to his extended family. He was staying at his paternal grandparents’ house, and between his grandma being nosy, his aunts and uncles talking up a storm with his parents, his college-age cousins all trying to relate to him, and his grandpa being as non-verbal as him, Kyle wasn’t sure whether he’d ever get another moment of peace ever again.

 

            He really wished he could talk to Erasmus right now, but his parents had made him put his electronics away so he could “spend a nice breakfast with his relatives, who he _never_ got to see.” Bah.

 

            He wished he could talk to Mairi, too, but since he was out of state, this tied in with the whole “no electronics” thing. Double bah.

 

            He took a bite of eggs, trying to ignore the clamor of the dining room. He vaguely wondered what the superhuman scene was like back in Bouring. It was probably really boring (heh), since he was out of commission for the next two weeks. Still, he couldn’t help fantasizing about what it would be like for him to show up with some sort of ray gun in full Blue Freak costume in his grandparents’ town. That would certainly inject some life into this sleepy town. Maybe some sort of chemical vapor-shooting gun? Kyle drifted off, thinking about supplies he would need to hypothetically build this gun.

 

            He was jerked out of his reverie by his grandma, who asked him in a conversational tone of voice, “So, Kyle, do you have any plans for today?”

 

            Kyle considered his options. He could tell the truth (I want to build a gun that could conceivably be used to harm people), which would undoubtedly result in disastrous consequences. Or, he could say “nothing,” in which case he’d probably be dragged along on whatever outing his grandma or cousins had planned. After weighing his chances, he decided upon a half-truth, something vague that he was probably going to do at some point in the day. “I don’t know,” he said. “I figured maybe I’d laze around, get some work done. Probably I’ll Skype my boyfriend sometime today.”

 

            The entire family turned to look at him, even his grandpa. Kyle wondered what he had done wrong. “Your…what, dear?” asked his grandma, in a controlled tone.

 

            Kyle played back what he had said in his mind, and internally hit himself. Oh no. He wasn’t out to his extended family. He forced a grin onto his face. “My boyfriend, grandma. I might Skype him today. You know? Video calling?” he said, playing dumb.

 

            His grandma nodded, unsure of how to proceed. His Uncle Ron chimed in. “Kyle, are you gay?” he asked.

 

            Kyle exhaled. “No, I’m bi.” When he was met with a blank look, he clarified. “I like boys and girls.” At the sight of his family members’ faces, he almost wished he had chosen to tell the truth about his plans for the day. Almost.

 

            His grandma turned to his mom and dad, sitting at the opposite end of the table. “Daniel, Beth, did you know about this?” she asked.

 

            “Of course!” said his mom. “Kyle’s never been one to keep huge secrets from us.” Kyle tried not to let on that he was still keeping a huge secret from his parents.

 

            “And his boyfriend is a perfect gentleman,” added his dad. “You’d think, due to superhero work, he’d be too busy to spend time at our house, but he’s really very social!”

 

            “Dad, he’s dating me because he likes spending time with me!” Kyle began to protest, but he was interrupted by the sound of his family.

 

            “Superhero?” asked his cousin Penny, from across the table. Penny was only a couple months older than Kyle, but she tried to lord it over him any chance she got.

 

            “What do you mean by superhero?” echoed Toby, Penny’s fraternal twin (who looked more like Kyle than he looked like Penny, if everyone was being honest). He was the younger twin, and didn’t try to lord anything over anyone, despite his predisposition to being a bit of a know-it-all.

 

            Before Kyle could answer, his dad jumped in. “Kyle’s boyfriend is _the_ superhero. You know? Defender of the world?”

 

            His grandma blinked at him, and asked his grandpa, “Did you know about a superhero?” His grandpa shook his head.

 

            His dad got up from the table, walked into the kitchen, and pulled the newspaper from a couple of days ago out of the trash can. “Superhero battles usually make the front page,” he explained. Sure enough, the front page was dominated by the headline _MIGHTY MIKE BESTS BLUE FREAK YET AGAIN AT LIGHTHOUSE BATTLE_. There was a photo underneath of the Blue Freak wrapped up in Mighty Mike’s arms. An astute viewer would recognize the hold not as an embrace, but as a restraining hold. But Kyle was far more astute than the average “astute viewer” (plus, he had been in said hold), and thus knew that it was, in fact, an embrace.

 

            His family clustered around the newspaper. “Your boyfriend is _Mighty Mike_?” asked Toby, in an astounded voice. “There are some kids at my school who worship that guy! They wear capes to school and everything.”

 

            “People did that at my school, too. It was stupid,” said Kyle, fully aware of the irony of him saying that when he wore a cape almost every day.

 

            “And who’s the other guy in the picture?” his Uncle Ron asked his dad.

 

            “That’s the Blue Freak. He’s Mighty Mike’s archnemesis and is very evil. He’s holding him in a restraining hold in the photo, not an embrace, see?”

 

            “Yes, I noticed,” said his Uncle Robert.

 

            Kyle groaned. “Can we stop talking about the Blue Freak?” In truth, he was worried that he’d start talking about how the Blue Freak was misunderstood if this conversation carried on any further.

 

            Penny squinted at him. “Are you jealous of the Blue Freak?”

 

            Kyle almost wanted to laugh. He settled for, “Of course not.”

 

            “Do you have a picture of him, Kyle? Your boyfriend, I mean.” asked Aunt Michelle cautiously.

 

            “Sure, wait one second.” At least they were taking an interest in his personal life.

 

            He darted into the bedroom he was sharing with his cousins. Erasmus was charging next to his computer. He slipped his earbuds in and said, “Hey, could you pretend to be a normal iPod for like, ten minutes, while I show some pictures of me and Mike to my family?”

 

            “What happened? Did you accidentally come out?” Erasmus asked.

 

            “You can read me like a book,” said Kyle. “Now shut up and let me show them my boyfriend.”

 

            “I can read you like a book because I am you,” replied Erasmus. “And speaking of your dumb boyfriend, he texted you.”

 

            “Don’t call him dumb,” muttered Kyle, unplugging Erasmus and checking his texts.

 

            Besides the text from Mike, he had also gotten a text from Mairi, asking him how he and his cousins were doing (Kyle still couldn’t believe that she got along with them). He chose to ignore it, as that situation was still TBD, and tapped on Mike’s name.

 

            He was greeted by a picture of the view from the top of the lighthouse, with Mike’s face in the foreground. Mike’s hair was swept back, and he managed to look completely heroic and attractive to Kyle at the same time. The caption underneath read “ _Wishing you were here with me so you could see this view first-hand!”_ Kyle smiled in spite of himself and fired off a text.

 

_that’s a great view. would be amazing to kiss in front of it. very hipster_

After a moment’s thought, Kyle sent another text.

 

_oh yeah. i accidentally told my extended family about our relationship. haha_

            He closed out of the app before the little bubble that meant Mike was typing could show up, so he wouldn’t obsess. He strode out to the table again.

 

            “Sorry for how long I took,” Kyle said. “Here’s a picture of Mike.” He pulled up the picture that Mike had just sent him, and held the iPod out.

 

            Penny was the first to grab it. She whistled under her breath. “Wow. Looks like my baby cousin scored a good one.”

 

            “I’m not your baby cousin!” Kyle exclaimed. She laughed and handed the iPod to Toby.

 

            “Pen’s right, Kyle. Not about the baby thing, but is this how he looks all the time?” With that, he tossed the iPod across the table, next to Kyle, to their cousin Damien, who was in college and had been uncharacteristically quiet the entire meal, like Kyle had been. He caught it with ease.

 

            “This has got to be _the_ most stereotypically heroic kid I have ever seen,” Damien said. “But if he makes you happy, good for you.” He winked mischievously and nudged Kyle. “I guess it runs in the family, huh?”

 

            “What runs in the family?” Kyle asked, but before Damien could answer, his grandma spoke up.

 

            “Damien, would you pass that thing over here so your grandpa and I can see it? And notice I said _pass_ , and not throw.”

 

            “Sure thing, grandma,” Damien answered. He passed the iPod down the table, and every member of the family peered at the photo. Kyle had never been so embarrassed.

 

            Finally, the iPod reached his grandma, and she held it so his grandfather could see as well. After looking at the picture for a while, she passed it back down, turned to Kyle’s parents, and asked, “Is he a nice boy?”

 

            “Very nice,” Kyle’s dad said. “He shook my hand when we first met, and remembers anniversaries.”

 

            “Although, I must say I preferred Kyle’s first boyfriend just a little bit more. He talked to us about our reality TV shows,” said Kyle’s mom.

 

            Kyle rolled his eyes. “He didn’t actually like those things. He only did that to get on your good side.”

 

            “Then that makes him even more polite,” his mom fired back.

 

            “What about that girl you liked?” asked his Aunt Lisa. “Mary, or whatever her name was?”

 

            “You mean Mairi? She’s my best friend,” Kyle answered.

 

            “Yes, but didn’t you have a crush on her?”

 

            “Uh, for like six months when I was twelve. We’re best friends, but just best friends.” His aunt huffed and didn’t respond.

 

            Erasmus finally made his way back to Kyle. Kyle checked his messages, and was surprised to find that there was already a text from Mike. He wondered vaguely when _that_ had happened (Mike was notoriously bad at texting back, what with superhero work and all). The text read:

 

_What? Kyle?_

            A second text, underneath it, said:

 

_So how’s that going so far?_

            Kyle exhaled and texted back:

 

_ehh, most of them seem ok with it. my cousins think you’re hot._

            Mike replied back in seconds.

 

_Everyone thinks I’m hot._

            Kyle rolled his eyes at that.

 

_and yet you asked out the one person who hates your guts. nice one._

            He sent a second message after a couple of seconds.

 

_my family is still trying to process it all haha_

            However, it sorta seemed like the family had moved on to other things. The adults were all talking about the economy, or something boring like that, over at the other end of the table. Kyle breathed a sigh of relief. Maybe, finally, he didn’t have to talk about himself to his family.

 

            As usual, his hopes were immediately dashed.

            Damien leaned over, trying to read the texts. Kyle turned Erasmus off. “You texting him, Kyle?”

 

            Before Kyle could respond, Penny interrupted. “So what’s it like, y’know, with the superpowers and stuff? What’s different about it?” _If she only knew about my experience with superpowers_ , Kyle thought.

 

            Toby interjected, “Does he pick you up and fly you places? Is he really as strong as he looks? Have you ever seen him use those black eye beams of his?”

 

            Kyle answered all of Toby’s questions at once. “Yes.” After a pause, he answered Penny’s question too. “And I don’t know. I’ve never been in a relationship with someone that didn’t have superpowers, so I can’t differentiate.”

 

            Damien coughed. “Didn’t your mom just say that she preferred your first boyfriend? He didn’t have superpowers.” Kyle stared at him and didn’t say anything as he waited for it to sink in. After a couple of moments, it hit him. “Ah,” he said.

 

            “Don’t tell my parents.”

 

            “Who’s next on your ‘to-date’ list? The Blue Freak?” joked Damien.

 

            “Oh god, no,” said Kyle, who had no interest in dating himself whatsoever.

 

            They were all silent for a couple of minutes, focused on eating, and then Erasmus dinged. The message read:

 

_Can I come meet them?_

            He scarcely had time to read this before Damien snatched the iPod out of his hands, tossed it to Penny, who tossed it to Toby, who tossed it back to Kyle, with everyone reading it along the way. Kyle scowled. “You know, you could have just asked.”

 

            Damien shrugged. “You wouldn’t have said yes.”

 

            “You should tell him yes,” said Penny. “It would be so cool to meet a celebrity!”

 

            Toby nodded. “I’m gonna go with Pen on this one. Meeting Mighty Mike would give us major bragging rights.”

 

            “Toby! You’re supposed to be on my side!”

 

            “Twin bond, dude. Plus, you can’t keep him away from the family forever,” he said.

 

            “It would be kinda cool to get a photo with him. To show off at parties, of course,” Damien admitted.

 

            Kyle scoffed. “You’re a psych major. You’re not going to any parties.”

 

            Damien brought a hand to his chest sarcastically. “Kyle, you wound me. But the point still stands.”

 

            “Did I hear something about Mike coming over?” asked his mom from the other end of the table, who apparently had been listening.

 

            His grandma spoke up. “I’d like to meet this boy.” His grandpa nodded in agreement. The relatives that didn’t agree kept it in, which Kyle was thankful for.

 

            He sighed and composed two texts. The first was to Mairi.

 

            _actually, for once, i’m okay with my family. (damien, penny, and toby say hi)._

            The second message was to Mike.

 

            _ehhh…maybe._

**Author's Note:**

> Bonus points to whoever caught all the references I made with his family members' names. Hint: Supervillainy and robotics genius run in the family.
> 
> Comments and kudos appreciated!


End file.
